Every police officer knows that some decisions carry more weight than others. Just as a rocket’s slight deviation at launch can mean missing the moon by thousands of miles, the choices we make early in life set the course for everything that follows. Among these, the decision to marry—and whom to marry—is one of the most important trajectory decisions you’ll ever face. This article explores why marriage is not just a personal milestone, but a foundation for thriving in the demanding world of law enforcement.
When talking to young officers or students entering the field, most focus on education and career as their top priorities. But over years of teaching, mentoring, and investigating, it’s become clear that the quality of your closest relationships—especially marriage—has a far greater impact on your happiness, resilience, and long-term success than any professional accomplishment.
Your worldview, the framework through which you see life, shapes every other decision you make. It helps answer questions like: What is my purpose? What should I value? What kind of person should I become—and share my life with? For police officers, whose work is often stressful and morally complex, a clear worldview and a strong marriage are anchors in rough seas. For police officers, whose work is often stressful and morally complex, a clear worldview and a strong marriage are anchors in rough seas. Share on X
Marriage is especially important for police officers because of the unique stresses of the job. The daily exposure to trauma, the demands of shift work, and the pressure to perform under scrutiny can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. A strong marriage provides a safe harbor—a place to decompress, share your burdens, and find encouragement. Research shows that married people report higher levels of emotional support and lower levels of stress, both of which are crucial in high-pressure professions like policing.
The benefits of marriage go beyond emotional support. Married individuals, on average, live longer, are healthier, and recover more quickly from illness. This is partly because spouses tend to look out for each other’s well-being, encourage healthy habits, and notice changes in health that might otherwise go unchecked. For police officers, who face higher risks of physical and psychological injury, this kind of mutual care can be life-saving.
Marriage also impacts your professional life. Officers in stable marriages tend to be more focused on the job and less distracted by personal turmoil. They are more likely to advance in their careers, accumulate wealth, and avoid the pitfalls that can derail a promising future. Married officers are often more accountable, grounded, and mission-focused, which benefits not only themselves but also their departments and the communities they serve.
For those with children, the advantages of marriage are even more pronounced. Children raised by married, biological parents in low-conflict homes do better in school, have fewer behavioral problems, and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors. They benefit from the combined time, attention, and resources of two committed adults. Studies consistently show that these children are more likely to graduate, attend college, and avoid trouble with the law. As a police officer, you know the importance of strong families in building safe communities—your own family is no exception.
The positive effects of marriage extend to mental health as well. Married people are less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. They report higher levels of happiness, sexual satisfaction, and emotional well-being. These benefits are even more significant when compared to those who cohabit without marrying or who remain single. The stability and commitment of marriage provide a unique foundation for flourishing in all areas of life.
Of course, marriage is not a guarantee of happiness or success. It requires intentionality, effort, and ongoing investment. As a police officer, it’s easy to let the demands of the job crowd out time for your spouse and family. But just as you commit to training and professional development, you must also commit to nurturing your marriage. Make time for your spouse, communicate openly, and seek support when challenges arise—whether through counseling, peer support, or trusted mentors.
Choosing whom to marry is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Approach it with the same seriousness and intentionality you bring to your career. Look for someone who shares your values, supports your mission, and is willing to invest in a partnership that will weather life’s storms. Remember that marriage is not just about finding the right person, but about being the right person—someone who is committed, resilient, and willing to grow.
As you advance in your career, you’ll find that the relationships you build at home are just as vital as those you build on the job. The support, stability, and sense of purpose that come from a strong marriage will help you navigate the unique challenges of police work, recover from setbacks, and celebrate your successes. Your marriage can be a source of strength, not just for you, but for your children and your community.
In the end, no one looks back from the end of their life wishing they’d spent more time at work. The regrets people express are almost always about missed moments with family, lost opportunities to love and be loved, and relationships that were neglected. As a police officer, your commitment to service is admirable—but don’t forget to serve those closest to you. Invest in your marriage, and you’ll find it pays dividends in every area of your life.
Marriage is not just a personal choice; it’s a trajectory decision that shapes your future, your family, and your legacy. For police officers, it’s a foundation for resilience, health, and true success. Choose wisely, invest deeply, and let your marriage be the anchor that sustains you through every challenge and triumph.
Susie and I serve as chaplains for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association’s Law Enforcement Apprecriation Program Marriage Resiliency retreat. If your marriage is hurting and you need some help centering your marriage in the truth of the Christian worldview, please consider applying to the program. Also, have you investigated the case for Christianity and it’s impact on your marriage? Have you committed your life to the source of this Bblical wisdom about marriage? Don’t waste another minute; do it today. And to learn much more about the importance of marriage, how it contributes to human flourishing and establishes the reliability of the Biblical record, please read The Truth in True Crime: What Investigating Death Teaches Us About the Meaning of Life.
